Lessons from the simple steps
With my right hand first
I open the door to the room where my woman gave birth
To my first born son
Only minutes before
I was in the waiting room, nervous
Moms giving me comfort
Family support
As I approached I could hear him crying
I didn’t notice
That my tears were running
Pictured myself for a moment in the arms of my father
Flashback to the bended shoulders
On which I’d sit
Grabbing his finger
Taking my first step
Would I become like him?
After a certain age bottle up
Stop showing love
But cold handshakes throughout the years
Replaced by hugs
Father whispered in his ears
The family was gathered
Pictures were taken
My hands still shaking
My joy was beyond words
Him in my arms
3 generations of tears running so calm
He came with Gods blessing and grace so we named him Faizan.
As I drive through the half-deserted streets of Manama at 5.30am after one of those difficult nights, listening to a man sing about the deeply personal experience of becoming a father. I can't help but notice things around me.
There's something magical and mysterious about fog, everything seems to be draped in it and things take on a different appearance. The mosque's minaret, shrouded in fog, its lights a beacon to those lost in the fog of life, its morning call to prayer an alarm to those asleep to the Message of Islam. It draws men from all sides, cars parked around it, even at 5.30am, wanting to perform the morning prayer and greet the day inside its holy walls.
An Indian couple, walking along a reasonably wide street but with no real footpath, walking slowly, not in a hurry, deep in conversation, he - dressed in simple slacks and a white shirt, she - wearing a yellow salwar kameez, walking along on a deserted residential street at 5.30am. What does he do here in Bahrain? A menial job to earn menial pay, being treated like dirt by most members of this society, far away from home. Is it of comfort to him, to have his wife by his side at 5.30am on this deserted street? Are they greeting the day together, whatever it may bring?
As I pull up outside my apartment and get ready to get some sleep before another day in the office. I can't help but wonder where is my beacon? My call? My sidewalk partner? Don't get me wrong, I'm in no urgency to find these things, this is not a quarter-life crisis... yet... but I can't help but wonder what new things await. This has certainly been a time of change in my life, nothing momentous has happened but I feel I have changed immeasurably. But in the words of Outlandish, "Looking back on my life, No regret only the sweet journey"... I do hope those words ring true for the rest of it.
Looking back on my life
Life that’s gladly been given to me
Open my eyes and embrace the smile
Given to you & I
Looking back on my life
No regret only the sweet journey
Lessons from the simple steps
Taking by you & I
Labels: bahrain, life, people
Some Reflection
I really do reflect better when discussing my thoughts with someone, I think I need a sounding board for my reflection rather than the solitude more commonly associated with it. For example, I have come to realise some things about myself through a recent conversation with someone close. To start with, I have travelled quite a lot. I've been alive for 22 and a half years and in that time I have been to 22 countries. In just the last year, 2007, I was in 12 different countries and in 2008, already, I have been to 5 different countries. I am fairly impressed with my achievement in this regard and I have to say, it's been a hell of a journey. One outcome of this, however, is that my attitude to travel has changed. I no longer feel the burning desire and excitement upon setting foot in a foreign land. The more you travel, the more different cultures, people and things you see, the more you realise that we are indeed all very similar. This doesn't mean I don't appreciate travel any more, I still love it and strive for it, the beauty of Rome and the Pyramids, the excitement and buzz of Dubai, the heart and soul of Cairo, all these things have reminded me recently that short-time travelling, 'tourism' if you like, is still a very worthwhile adventure. However, I am beginning to understand that my priorities have shifted somewhat.
I am still a nomad. And to me nomadism is not about travelling, it's much broader, it's situational. I now look forward to not short-term experiences but experiencing longer term situations. For instance, the first six months in Bahrain were one type of experience and situation. It was an infatuation of sorts, a burgeoning understanding and love for a country and its people, a passion and drive to move an organisation, to which I've contribute my hard work and my heart for the last 5 years, forward. These last six months are going to be a different kind of situation, the understanding and love has turned to a growing comfort and ease, much like passing the infatuation stage in a relationship and progressing to a stage of comfort and companionship. And having the knowledge that I will be leaving, not only Bahrain, but AIESEC at the end of this term has given me a new perspective on the organisation also, gone is the lust for results and reputation, and the drive to succeed in order to ensure my next position in the network, and it's instead replaced with a deep commitment to ensure that AIESEC Bahrain is in a much better place after I leave, to when I started. These last six months will be more about cherishing the moments, and the people, that have come to define my experience here in Bahrain, rather than a thirst for discovering new things and feelings.
The situational thing goes further. I know when I arrive back in Melbourne, the feelings and emotions I will have will be situational, the situation of arriving back home after a year abroad is a unique one that I have never experienced. Rediscovering my love for my city, my friends and my family, in the flesh, will be a new situation, as will rediscovering how I feel about my academic activities, especially given the absence of AIESEC during the course of them for the 18 months after I arrive. And after that, I will be looking for new, different and more challenging situations. The internship I intend to take after I graduate will be an opportunity for such a thing, as will the many other steps that I will, insha'allah, take during the course of my life in the future. The future is an interesting thing, I think the reason why I've never felt anxious or uncomfortable with it is that, at this point I have enough optimism to know that I will make good decisions and will continue to be presented with good opportunities. May that optimism never fade.
(In other news, Indian music is very good, I have gained too much weight from unhealthy food and lack of exercise, and Support Obama on Super Tuesday for he is the new hope.)
Labels: aiesec, bahrain, life, travel
Back in Cairo
What is it that strikes me most? Is it the Arabic pop music blaring from the cafe speakers? The thick Egyptian accent 'yez' of the seving staff? The fact that I can smoke inside the terminal bulding? The 100 "taxi, ya basha?" upon arrival? It feels good, if slightly disorienting, to be back in this massive, chaotic, bustling hub of the Arab world. Surely the Arab heart beats strongest in Cairo, umm al-Balad, mother of cities.
My thoughts extend to those finer little things I love, freshly squeezed orange juice, an americano (long black in aussie) to quench my thirst (thi sis the coffee I always order when I'm thirsty, it's black but doesnt dehydrate you like espresso), the fresh new Moleskine diary with Italian all over it (my first real Italian Moleskine), the Italian Dunhills that are slowly running out (back to horrible Egyptian cigarrettes after that for a few days til I get back to the Gulf), the fine espressi, chinati, panini, pasta, pizza, fashion that I'm certainly going to miss and my one and only prized purchase from Italy - a Zara overcoat from Roma, a nice souvenir.
This cafe is an oasis of calm, I await my meter cab as I'm in no mood to argue over the fare with a wily Masri gentleman. In this oasis, my thoughts extend back to the people + work forever in the back of my mind. A Nigerian buddy calls inviting fun with friends. Work is waiting back in Bahrain, new interns arriving, Microsoft proposal, Gulf conference, MC applications, finances, logistics. My family is there, their kindness, generosity and love are never far from my mind. My friends, different people in different places, all over the world, all playing a different role in my life. People I miss, some intensely, some momentarily, some I should miss but don't and some I shouldn't but do. Bahrain, people, food, chilling... Melbourne, university, coffee, places... the strange turns my life seems to be taking... What will 2008 bring? What surprises?
Not now though - another shiny Egyptian visa sticker has invaded my worn out passport and my wallet is full of pounds. Time to get lost in a haze of smoke, 'habibis' , pollution, bashas, traffic and soul.
Labels: cairo, life, travel
