Written: [Costa Adliya] 1.47am 23rd April
In our more expansive moments, we imagine romantic loev to be akin to Christian love, an uncritical, expansive emotion that declares I will love you for everything that you are, a core that has no conditions, that draws no bounaries, that adores every last shoe, that is the embodiment of acceptance. But the arguments that hound lovers are a reminder that Christian love is not prone to survive a move into the bedroom. Its message seems more suited to the universal than the particular, to the love of all men for all women, to the love of two neighbours who will not hear each other snoring.
pg. 65, Alain de Botton - Essays in Love
But is de Botton focusing on the right thing? Is it the particular detriments we observe in our partner, like snoring, that are the obstacles to "Christian love" or rather our own insecurities? Christian love is easy because its impersonal, it does not involve massive vulnerability or opening yourself up to a particular person to stab you in the heart. It's the power of need, dependance and expectation. If you do not depend on all humans or expect anything particular from them then it's far easier to love them. But the profundity of that love is then also called into question.
If you are not prepared to let go totallyt hen what sort of fulfillment can you expect? Surely, the Hell of your expectations not being met can be equated with the Heaven of them being met and surpassed? Love is a game of extremes.
If you are not prepared to let go totallyt hen what sort of fulfillment can you expect? Surely, the Hell of your expectations not being met can be equated with the Heaven of them being met and surpassed? Love is a game of extremes.
Labels: literature, love, philosophy
posted by LX at 12:16 AM
2 Comments:
Then again, with romantic love, we expect something in it for ourselves. Will we still give it if we were not receiving something that we wanted from that love?
With Christian love, we don't. Even the argument of satisfaction with oneself for a "good deed" done does not apply as this is an act with complete compassion (if I can put it that way). Anything lesser might no longer be Christian love.
Essentially, they are very well two different notions of love which are different almost to the core. Though, as a side note, Christian love might not survive a move into the bedroom, but after a long time in the bed room, romantic love MIGHT evolve into something somewhat similar to Christian love, no?
ps. And if it is far easier to love humans if we do not depend on them, then why don't we lavish attention, time and effort on them as we do with our loved ones?
Anyway, not an expert, but just my two cents worth.
well you know my opinion on the concept of 'complete compassion', i dont think it exists.
and maybe its easier to love humans but we dont derive as much satisfaction from it as we do with our loved ones.
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